i saw an older guy at the library this morning in a nondescript charles bronson shirt and ever since i’ve been wondering if it was for the powerviolence band or if he was just really into old bloated hollywood shoot em up and war movies
finally finished rene philoctete’s ‘massacre river’ on the busride home
a man came into the store to place a prison order for a bunch of GED test prep workbooks to go to his friend- he was very concerned as to which ones would be best at her reading level. it was tender and he seemed to be a sincere, good person so i knocked half off for him and i’m hoping my manager doesn’t notice
we got new issues of wire and maison française in the store today- another month and i am completely suckered into shelling out over 20 bucks for magazines
i gave kip a ride home, he brought tunes but i can’t drive with jazz on without breaking every other minute in fear that a trumpet bit is someone honking at me. we listened to the radio instead
there was almost no food in the fridge but i didn’t feel like getting groceries or spending money so i had like 5 clementines, some saltines, and half a quarter pack of menthols for dinner then went for a walk. it was cold but bright and i like that
i wrote down a long list of everything i need to do- every call i need to make, appointment i need to schedule, person i need to contact, email i need to write- it brought me a huge sense of relief until i realized i hadn’t actually done any of it. i’m going to though
it was a pretty alright day as far as february goes.
in short, i work at a book store and take great advantage of the ability to order whatever i want for the store without bearing the responsibility of paying for anything. i read a lot of books and texts about comics because i’m driven to make a graphic novel i’m proud of, these are just some of many i find noteworthy- b/c no one actually needs a bunch of courses or an art degree to obtain a broader upstanding of the illustrated narrative and subsequently grow as a comic artist.
binky brown meets the holy virgin mary - justin green (duh. essential for contextualizing early crumb/ spiegelman/ a lot of work in the comix scene & era as well as serving as the ultimate ideal model for the autobiographical comic narrative.)
graphic witness: four wordless graphic novels - masereel, ward, patri, and hyde (this and the former three are the best introduction to textless graphic novels/ expressionist woodcuts that i’ve come across. woodcut narratives have been so huge for me.)
AX volume 1: a collection of alternative manga - various authors (another personal favorite. but i think any comic artist can benefit from AX- it’s an amazing and diverse collection of highly stylized shorts that take really interesting and surreal narrative directions)
lynd ward: six novels in woodcuts - lynd ward (..„there’s nothing i can say about ward that would do him justice really. he was the master of the craft and i just consider his work so intrinsically important.)
TO END ON A FUN NOTE ::: wampus, vol. 1- franco frescura & luciano bernasconi ((the stupidly fun dated as hell french comic book that’s supposedly a cult classic but i’ve never encountered anyone else who’s actually read it so like, help me out here)
i met a girl crate digging yesterday when she nabbed a 12” i wanted and i got pissy at first (it was a rhythim is rhythim single :(( ) but we ended up talking for like 40 minutes and she has on point taste and and she works days as a waitress but spends her nights as a dj doing gigs so anyway we exchanged numbers and she invited me to load up some crates and spin with her some night this week then grab dinner at her favorite jazz kitchen and i’ve been internally squealing about it like all day. she’s just so cool and cute and neat and i’m way too excited about digging through her record collection than i should be
god i loathe asking people about the membership rewards program thing at work. i almost always end up talking anyone vaguely interested out of signing up- the slightest bit of pensiveness or a crack of hesitance in their voice and i shrug and offer “yeah honestly it’s really not worth the money.”
i’m not comfortable soliciting anything to anyone which is a pertinent problem for me rn as it’s a pretty vital retail workplace skill
do you think theres any chance we’ll get a new boredoms album this year? i realized today it’s been ten damn years since seadrum/house of sun. god i was actually nine when the last proper boredoms album came out. even most of their side projects have been pretty quiet in terms of output lately i’m starting to get concerned.
hey i’m really proud of myself- i’ve been independently taking classical music history courses for over a year now and the past month my professor mostly spent lecturing on henry cowell so last week i asked if he planned on touching on johanna beyer at all (as she was a pretty significant part of his life, participant in the scene he was in, and artist in her own right) and he said that it wasn’t in the curriculum which really bummed me out and made me kind of angry so i petitioned to my dean to get her at least shoehorned in as a talking point and i succeeded and i’m just so happy about it because she’s like my favorite person and maybe there’s hope for neglected female musicians to carve out some coverage within the classical music history canon and finally be recognized by the clusterfuck of male centrism that makes up music academia
cause in all honesty beyer was on the same playing field as cowell and deserves her own damn unit. but at least it’s a start.
i’m kinda working on a several (6)- i have a tendency to start projects, get bored, start new ones, then never go back to finish the others. i think everyone does that though.
the one i’ve been spending a lot of time on lately is told from several points of view by a revolving cast of narrators in a non linear vignette narrative form. there are a lot of subplots and interweaving character archs that all tie into the overarching storyline which revolves around a game my little brother and i play where we get in the car and follow whatever vehicle is in front of us to their destination, then follow the next car we see, rinse and repeat, until we end up far from where we started. eventually while playing the game they [we] trail a car much farther than they’ve ever followed anyone before and subsequently witness a series of events that domino into a situation far bigger than themselves and call into question the underlying implications of voyeurism (even if seeded in seemingly harmless curiosity) and if the public presence of cars gives one license to realize their identity and destinations due to the intimate significance (and feasible consequences) those destinations can have. i guess something about the idea of personal purpose without the commitment of declaration when it comes to driving fascinates me. i get really stuck how transportation- sitting at a traffic light behind 20 other cars- is an universally shared experience yet so deeply private.
anyway- the whole thing is based on real events. my little brother and i really did play that game a lot until we followed a van all the way to ohio one day and witnessed the driver crash their car intentionally. thankfully they were mostly unharmed, but i haven’t been able to shake it since- the event made me very uncomfortable with myself and the haziness that dimly separates longing for insight to/ observation of human behavior and being presumptuously invasive. neglecting boundaries is easy even for the cautious when you’re the only active party setting them.
god sorry i’m being verbose— ah to sum up: i think it’ll be neat if it ever gets done. thank you for asking. i want to make a lot of graphic novels, i hope that’s what i get to do with my life.
the movies should be a great place to meet people except single people never go to movies and suddenly you’re at a 9:30 showing of blue is the warmest color surrounded by people infinitely cooler than you exchanging spit and you want to sink below your seat under the floorboards and die or at least melt
something i’ve done my entire life that i don’t know how to stop is the habit of completely cutting people off. avoiding talking to them because then if we don’t talk i guess it was because of me and not because they don’t want to talk to me. idk, i really don’t know how i rationalize it in my…
someone hold me accountable to finishing my graphic novel this year. i’ve been fucking around with this thing for like three years now and i want to have something tangible to show for myself before i’m 20.
this is my 2014 goal. “resolution” i guess. whatever.
2013 started off so promising i was all stoked on a new mbv album and graduating high school (both of which ended up being capital disappointments) but 2014 just doesn’t have me excited about anything at all except maybe whose couch i’m sleeping on next
i can already tell this is gonna be like the left over room temperature piss beer of years
i work at a book store and it’s nice i like it pretty well except that i’ve developed this habit of kind of falling for anyone i ring up who has even moderately good taste in books
like two weeks ago a babe with a nose ring and a stereolab shirt came in and bought some andre breton novels and a hijokaidan CD- i haven’t been able to shake her from my head ever since. everyday i hope she comes back in
how do you pull yourself out of the kind of rut where you wake up with all these plans and goals and semblance of ideas then somewhere in between motivation and execution fear and self loathing and guilt just totally engulf you so you retreat to lying in bed absent mindedly watching movie after movie and maybe call in sick to work for the third time this month and take six showers because getting clean feels like the you one thing you can accomplish without failing